By Mary…

“You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or you can fight back.  The rest of your life is being shaped right now.  The choices you make and the person you decide to be.  The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now.”

Quote from One Tree Hill

Happy New Year!

I am so happy that year 2011 is over and I say this with all the conviction I have in me.  I’m not one to put much into new year resolutions but I did make two last year.  One was to take back my life.  Somewhere in the middle of being a wife, mother, problem solver, studying, endless loads of laundry and dishes (teenagers…UGH!), broken bones, football practices, school dances, etc., I kind of got lost in the shuffle.  I became so engrossed with fixing everyone else’s problems that I lost sight of who I am and what I want out of life.

So instead of dwelling on the many “resolutions” that I could make with the start of this new year, I’m going to share a couple lessons that I learned over this past year.

Recently, I was reminded of an event in my life that had a profound effect on me.  One that I had forgotten about and one that I regret forgetting about.  Just a few days ago, I lost my temper at my youngest son.  He looked at me with absolute sincerity in his eyes and asked, “Why are you always so mad?”  I stood there feeling like someone had just thrown a bucket of ice cold water on me.

Hearing these words echo around in my head is what sparked the memory I swore I would never forget.  Around 8 or 9 years ago, when the kids were just toddlers, I was busy doing all the mundane chores of the day, when he came running in back door yelling “Mommy”!  I snapped at him with a curt “What do you want?  Mommy’s busy.” and I never even turned around.  He softly said, “Nothing”, and went to his room.  That night, I went to tuck him and turn on the night light.  As I sat down on the edge of his bed, I stepped on something and thought, “Good Lord….what has he drug into the house now?”  As I picked the unknown object up off the floor, tears instantly burned in my eyes, as I held a little bunch of wilted flowers in my hands.  He looked up at me and whispered, “I picked them for you but you were busy.”  I had never felt so unworthy as a parent as I did in that moment until just the other day.

Lesson 1 – Don’t ever loose sight of what is truly important.

We’ve all been asked if you could take back one day, which one would it be.  For me, it would be Friday, November 26, 2010, the day before my best friend died.  As usual for everybody at that time of year, I was running around doing the whole “Thanksgiving” thing…parties, family dinners, cooking, etc.  In my hurry to get everything done, I physically drove past Gina’s house twice that day – once on the way to pick up my son from a friend’s house and again on the way back.  He even asked me why I didn’t stop.  My answer being that Gina had a house full of company and we had already made plans for next week.  Besides we had to get home, pick up the food and get to Grandma’s house for dinner.  There wasn’t enough time to stop that day.  Gina died of a brain aneurysm Saturday morning.

A little over a year has passed since she died and there has been very few days that I don’t think about what I did.  I know that I will never get that day back.  Regret is a very hard thing to live with and if there is one thing I can pass on about this experience, it is to make time to do the things that matter.  You may not get a tomorrow, next week or even next year.

Lesson 2 – Forgiveness is divine but forgiving yourself is healing.

I’ve come to realize that with everything we deal with on a daily basis, marriage, job, children, money, etc., that life doesn’t have to be this hard and there are times we make it harder on ourselves.  So this new year’s resolution is basically a continuation from last year.  I’m taking back my life.  I’m coming to realize the things that are good for me and the ones that are not, knowing the difference and letting go of the ones that are pulling me down.  So as I said good-bye to 2011, I’m closing that part of my life that is no longer good for me and looking forward to a new start.  I will leave you all with one additional quote…

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. and it’s yours.”

Quote from One Tree Hill

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~By wawame

He was the epitome of masculinity, a foreboding figure that could make a woman swoon with a simple wink of his eye. His hat was dipped low and his duster barely hid his snug fitting jeans. Even with the moonlight as his backdrop, the light from the oil lamps highlighted his handsome face, drawing attention to his patch. So sensual was the patch, it made him seem so forbidden, so mysterious, so secretive. He was a man that demanded attention, one who demanded respect… whether he meant to or not. It was the mere sight of him that took her breath away.

Now that I have your attention, let’s chat. 

Do you sometimes wonder if today’s soap writers have ever written fan fiction?  Do you wonder if they have ever dabbled in writing a story or two about their preferred set of characters and, if given free reign, how they would like to see that story play out on screen?  Scary thought, I must admit, but I’d read it.  I’d read it in a heartbeat.

It would be interesting to see what Maria Arena Bell, Dena Higley… Hogan Sheffer, Tom Casiello, or Gary Tomlin for that matter… would write.  Which characters would they choose to focus on?  Just how deep would they divulge into the psyche of those characters, and how far would they take those characters in the acts and expressions of their love?  Would they write those characters as proverbial soul mates, always finding their way back into the arms of the only one who truly loves them and accepts them for who they are?  Or would their’s be a merry-go-round… an endless array of attempted and failed relationships that begin with profound professions of love, only to end with broken hearts that hinted of hatred, or worse yet, indifference?  Would they redefine them… dare to tear apart what endeared them to so many?  No doubt, their’s would be an interesting read.  It would be very telling to read their interpretations of our favorite characters, especially if those interpretations weren’t tainted by the ever present issue of ratings, ad revenues, desired demographics, contract negotiations, and tight budgets.  Such stories would answer many a question, especially since every fan of a particular character or couple would stand to either have their hopes dashed, or their dreams come true.

Fan fiction writers are a rare breed, especially those who write stories of romance.  Character stories that center on drama or action and adventure are a challenge in themselves, but the ones that center on true and romantic love are nothing short of daunting.  All rely heavily on imagination, but those that include romance and intimacy expose so much more of the writer.  It takes a lot of courage to write such a fanfic, and it takes even more to share it.  Thank goodness there are those who do.

I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a soap opera writer to pen a romance for the viewing audience, but I know for a fact how terrifying it is for a fanfic writer to post that first chapter, much less post their first attempt at a love scene, be it chaste or erotic… if they so opt to include one.  Someone once said that writing a romantic fanfic and posting it for all the world to see was synonymous with getting a bikini wax done on the front steps of the county courthouse.  Their synopsis is correct.  At least, that’s how it feels to the one who wrote it.  You post your hard work and then sit back and hope and pray with all your might that it will be well received, all while crossing your fingers that you succeeded in capturing the essence of the characters you penned.  Rarely does anyone fail.  But, when you have such characters as ’Steve & Kayla’, ’Stefan & Katherine’, and the mysterious ’Tucker McCall’ (all given to us by Stephen Nichols and Mary Beth Evans) to work with, it’s nearly impossible to fail.  I give credit to the actors for that.  What a testament it is when the characters they have portrayed make such an enduring impression that, even though those characters are no longer on our screens, we still want more.  We want more, so we write more.  We write stories that continue or redefine what we saw on our screens.  We write stories that take the characters a step beyond what we saw because what we saw wasn‘t nearly enough.  We write stories so that we never have to accept the end of what the actors were once able to give us, and what we want them to share with us again.  That’s some powerful chemistry… stuff legends are made of.  Or, so we fanfic writers think.  I have a feeling our readers do, too.

As for the readers, never once think that a fanfic writer doesn’t realize that if not for them, there would be little need to write their stories.  Readers give us our motivation, all while serving as the very reason we share to begin with.  The characters as portrayed by our favorite actors may serve as our inspiration, but how wasted would that inspiration be if there was no one to read our shared works? The only mistake readers of fanfics make is to think for one minute that they are not appreciated.  They are appreciated, as are their comments.  Readers are who makes those countless hours spent plunking away at the keyboard all worthwhile, often after they have not only encouraged us to continue, but fueled our imagination to do so.  They are our ‘viewing audience’, our ‘sponsors‘, and our ‘desired demographics‘.  Readers are priceless, and fanfic writers love them… with a passion.

I write because I never want to see the legacies of ‘Steve & Kayla’, ‘Stefan & Katherine’, or the new ‘Tucker McCall’ end.  I write because I want more.  Thanks to the extraordinary talents of the actors who portrayed them, I’ll never get enough of those characters.  Thanks to fan fiction, I won’t have to. 

‘Relive the Magic’ is so fortunate to have a wide array of wonderful and heartfelt stories, written by so many talented and gifted people, though I am sure they would deny such a claim.  They are talented and gifted… very much so.  From the smallest of ‘billets’ to the never-ending sagas of full-length fanfics, RTM has them all.  Extraordinary Bope and Tanna fanfics are found there well as.  Trouble is, both the readers and the writers, want more.  So, if you’ve ever tried your hand at writing a fanfic, you’re welcome to share it with us.  If you’ve never written a fanfic, yet contemplated doing so, take the plunge.  Write what’s inside you.  Write what you want to see, what you want to read.  More importantly, write what you feel.  That’s the secret to writing fanfics.  Write as if you are writing for yourself and no one else, and then dare to share.  Take the plunge.  Why not become a member of that rare and elite breed known as fanfic writers?  I can honestly say that, as scary as it was, it was a leap I have never regretted taking.  It was one that has enriched my life beyond measure, just as my readers have… as they still do.  I have no doubt that all the wonderful writers at RTM will tell you the same. 

Reader, writer, or both; we’re all richer for sharing in the love of the characters we adore.  And whether we admit it or not, there’s a little bit of a soap opera writer in all of us… a good one, too. 

Click HERE for the pride and joy of ’Relive the Magic’, the place where our favorite characters will live forever.

Copyright © 2011
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Copyright © 2011
This content is for personal, non-commercial use only. The use of this content on other websites breaches copyright. If this content is on any other site than www.snandmbe.com it makes the page or post you are viewing an infringement of the copyright.