Transcript:
The Oprah Show
TV’s Sexiest Men (1989)
Taped at LA’s Universal Studios
Guests along with Stephen include John Stamos from Full House, Greg Evigan from My Two Dads, A. Martinez from Santa Barbara, David Hasselhoff from Baywatch, and Clarence Gilyard Jr. from Matlock.
[Oprah Introduces Stephen saying, “Will the patch stay off? WILL Patch and Kayla ever have that baby? From Days of our Lives, welcome Stephen Nichols.]
Oprah introduces each guest.
Then:
Ladies, I did the best I could for you, really. When we come back, we are gonna talk to these men and find out what makes a certain woman stand out among the rest. We’ll be back in a moment.
[Back from the break]
Oprah: We’re talking to some of TV’s sexiest men, and first of all gentlemen, let me say thank you for coming on because this isn’t really an easy thing to do to admit to yourself that you are … (laughs)
John: Who’s admitting it? We thought this was a boot camp.” (Points out the fact that all the actors are wearing boots)
Oprah: All the actors are wearing boots!
Oprah: But it’s not really easy to admit to yourself that you really are sexy…extra attractive. Or is it? The question I want to ask all of you…when did you? Clarence?
[Clarence is laughing his head off]
Oprah: Clarence, hold on. When did you know? Honestly, honestly, did you look in the mirror or something happened and you realized that you had a little bit extra going for you than other guys?
David: Well, Clarence had a little extra going for him, we hear.
Oprah: You want to explain that one?
John: Hey, be careful with the audience, go easy on them.
Oprah: You want to explain that, David?
David: No, not at all
Clarence: Actually, I would like to explain it. Before we get rolling, I want to tell everyone. I got married Saturday. I am the happiest man up here.”
(Oprah introduces his wife, in the audience)
John Stamos proudly shows off his ring-less hands (bragging he isn’t married).
Oprah: Let me ask you, we once did on a show with all these wonderful, beautiful women and they said they still had problems getting…getting dates. They said it’s a real problem because people only relate to you because of your looks…such a problem in the world. Do you have such a problem, A?
A: Uh….I like to be taken seriously as an artist. (Laughs as other guys kiddingly groan) So uh…ya, fat chance….trying to survive long term career type stuff.
Oprah: Let me ask you that David. Does it get in the way sometimes? And then we’re gonna get off of this and talk about other things. But does it get in the way?
David: Ya, it gets in the way because when you go out, it’s difficult to actually go to a club or place that has any kind of privacy because you get mobbed by people who want your autograph, and if there’s one girl there that you’re really attracted to, and you’d like to take her out dancing, it’s impossible to take her on the floor because everyone’s bothering and looking at you. So sometimes you’re out signing autographs and the one you’re really attracted to walks by, and you’re ‘wait wait wait!’ And she’s like- ah stuck up TV star…and she’s …gone…so you lose the one you want sometimes.
Oprah: How do you approach women, guys? Do you have your people approach her people…and their people get together. I mean how do you do that, Greg?
Greg: Ya… send the agent. (Smiles)
Oprah: John, if you see someone you’re attracted to…have you been in situations where the moment passed? Say you were at a stop sign…or you’re in the elevator…
John: I just start begging. I don’t care. They can ask me for my autograph… ask me anything. I’m fine. Actually, David’s been asking me out all morning and I wanted to clear that up right now.
(Laughs)
Oprah: Stephen, same thing? Same problem?
Stephen: Well, I’m married. I don’t ask women out.
Oprah: Well you know…
Stephen: Oh, are you talking about before?
Oprah: Ya, before.
Stephen: Before… I was waiting tables. No one wanted to go out with me.
(Laughs)
Oprah: So do you find many times that the whole looks thing does get removed once people get to know you?
Stephen: I think so.
(Guys all nod)
Oprah: The question I asked earlier about when you first looked in the mirror and realized…not necessarily in the mirror, but realized, that something was different about you and that you could maybe use your looks to your advantage was when?
A: I think it’s important not to look at yourself first thing in the morning, you know? Wait until after dinner and you’ve had a glass of wine. (The guys agree)
Oprah: So, what kind of woman are you really attracted to? For instance, Clarence, what stood out in this woman you married on Saturday, among all the women you’ve met and gone to school and… college. What was it about her?
Clarence: She told me what to do and I listened. Kathy and I went to college together and we were taking an acting class and she was telling me how to act after I’d been in the business for about eight years already. But she didn’t know that, and I thought that was kind of lovely.
Oprah: Let me ask you the same thing, David. What makes one woman stand out above the rest?
David: Passion. Passion in …well, there’s obviously that passion, and that’s important…
Oprah: See that your mind’s in the wrong place. The man is talking about that joie de vivre and stuff.
David: Well, I mean, obviously that passion, but also a sense of humor is important. A passion about everything, a passion about their work, about the relationship, a passion about being compassionate to other people…a love for life and for each other. I think sometimes in this business, if you get two people involved in the business, your careers become more important than your personal relationship, and I know that’s what blew it for me the first time around, and this time around the #1 thing is the relationship and that’s having passion…and keeping that passion alive.
Oprah: Do you think that women today get too possessive too quickly?
John: I don’t think I’ve really run into that. I love a woman that’s possessive.
(Crowd cheers)
John: You gals will scream at anything. I didn’t know it was going to be so wild here today!
Clarence: I think that women know what they want. But at the same time, I don’t think they know what they have in the man early enough to get possessive. I think there should be more time before they jump in there and get possessive.
Oprah: Stephen, you think what?
Stephen: I think everybody needs their space, you know. I think if people are getting possessive, they are getting insecure about it and its time to talk about it.
Oprah: Are you a jealous kind of fella?
Stephen: I have been very jealous in the past, but it’s one of those lifelong struggles that I’ve been working on. I’m not very jealous anymore. I’m very trusting now and it’s something that I was earlier in life, yes.
Oprah: A, what does the A stand for?
A: I take that after my grandfather, whose name was Adolfo…the third. I was little A growing up so…
Stephen: Little A… now he’s Big A.
(Audience laughs)
A: Seems there’s a lot of confusion these days about how men and women are supposed to relate. When I was growing up, John Wayne was the image of what a man was…you can still do worse than that you know. But when you’re in locker rooms like at the gym and stuff you hear guys talking about ‘Oh, I went out with so-and-so the other night’, and what it was like, and what you get out of it a lot of times is that people are afraid of each other. I think if we are possessive, it’s usually because we’re so afraid that there’s something going to go wrong from the get go, that it makes things go wrong …you expect it
Oprah: So you don’t like it, you’re not like John. You don’t like a possessive woman, do you?
A: I don’t care for it, although I’m very much married and have been for a long time, and feel very much possessed by the spirit of love between my wife and myself.
(Everyone cheers, including the other guys)
Clarence: Can we have more of those locker room stories though?
Oprah: How does your wife react to those love scenes though? Because I mean we….we…I… You want to roll part of it? Because we decided we aren’t even gonna roll all of it. That scene where she started to take your shirt off and the pants…it was a SCENE. You all know what I’m talking about? It was just…talk about….talk about…I mean, that’s what steamy is. So how does she react to that kind of thing?
A: It wasn’t real easy for her at the beginning. Her name is Lesley, bless her heart. We made the mistake of watching the show in bed…I mean sitting up in bed. But the thing is, she’s a big woman and she’s strong, and early on in the game, she would watch quietly, and then when the scene was over, she’d just turn around and go…boom! (pretends like he is about to punch Stephen)
Oprah shows part of the love scene between Eden and Cruz
Oprah: That is a scene!
Audience applauds
Oprah: I don’t blame Lesley. I wouldn’t want to see it.
Greg: You’re still married to this woman?
A: She’s better about it now and I tell ya, my heart goes out to her because I don’t think I could do it if I were in her shoes. I don’t think I’d want to see her doing that on tv with someone else. It would drive me out of my mind.
Oprah: So she has to be a strong woman.
A: Ya, she is a strong woman, and she knows where my heart is, so it’s cool.
Oprah: Greg, let me ask you this. What is the most outrageous thing a woman has ever done to get close to you?
Greg: God…it’s been so long. It’s been ten years now. I’ve gotta think….most outrageous thing…man, help me out here…she married me, that’s it!
Oprah: David, I bet you have some answers for that question.
David: You know, I came from daytime television also, and I played Snapper. But I had this one lady, and she was a major fan of me, and she got my phone number and would call and call and call, and she ended up one day at the studio, at CBS, and was absolutely out of her mind… ‘oooh ohhh ohh’. And I drove home, and then there was a knock on the gate, and she was outside the gate… ‘oooh ohhh ohh’…and I finally had to call the police
John: Oh David, that was me. That was me in a wig, Dave, and I’m sorry – and I can call you Dave now, right?
Oprah: How do you keep your feet on the ground and know who really your friends are?
Stephen: Intuition.
Oprah: Intuition, yes really, that’s how you know.
Stephen: I think you get a little experience with people and you are able to see after a while who the true friends are and who they aren’t. It takes experience. But in the beginning, when you first become kind of famous, it is difficult.
Oprah: Don’t you think too, that most of the guys who look at you and see all the attention that you get think, wouldn’t it be great to just walk into a room and have people attracted to you because you’re famous and you’re good looking? But that gets old, I would imagine.
Stephen: People think that but it is not glamorous at all. It’s really not at all glamorous. It’s really kind of tough to go through that all the time, especially if you’re out with your family and people are around. It’s not fair to them. If I’m out by myself and people approach me, I don’t mind at all. But, if I’m with my family, and they’re snapping pictures left and right, it’s kind of difficult.
John: The bottom line is, and I’ll speak for everybody…
(Laughs from the audience)
John: Because I am outspoken….The point is that we all start out as actors first, but the bottom line is….I’ll speak for myself; the point is that we lucked out. There’s a lot of good looking guys, a lot of good actors out there. The bottom line is it could be any of us. As far as people coming up to us, or people coming up to me, I’m flattered and I’m grateful they know me from work I did.
Greg: When I first started out, there was a lot of people. I mean I used to feel exactly like what John’s saying, about how everybody that comes up to you, you want to make them feel comfortable, you want to make them feel good. You still do. But I think that after a while, there’s a lot of people that are on the take, especially in this town. You gotta decide who’s on the take and who’s not when you’re meeting people. I’m not talking about you people. You’re not on the take, you’re just out to have a good time. (Addressing the audience)
Oprah: They just want to take you, that’s all.
(Audience cheers)
Greg: 200 women in the same room. What can you do, c’mon?
Audience Question: I want to know what the most romantic thing a woman has ever done for you …something that kept your relationship really exciting.
Greg: I came home and messed it up…bad. I came home with a half empty bottle of tequila, and Pam had a beautiful lobster dinner next to the fire with a bottle of wine…and I came home, with a friend of mine …my buddy. I ended up falling in the pool with the dog. And I ended up by the toilet with my lips stuck to the carpet.
Oprah: That’s what a half bottle of tequila will do for you.
Audience Question: I want to know if any of you have had any dates from hell.
All the guys say turn and say, “John?”
John: The only ones who’re not married up here are John and myself. I, ah….dates from hell. I had a girlfriend for a long time who we just recently split up, who I loved very much..
Oprah: Ah, that’s a sad thing. Was your heart broken?
John: Semi broken. But how can you be in love with someone and have your heart not broken when you split up? I do miss her…but…
David: You miss her butt?
(The guys laugh)
John: All the boys are after me now. C’mon fellas, let’s go. Anyway, I was on a date a couple of weeks ago, and at the end of the date, the girl started busting up and I go ‘what’s so funny?’, and she says, ‘I’m with Uncle Jesse’.
(Everyone laughs(
Audience Question: All you guys would be classified as pretty boys. Do you ever date just your average, every day pretty girls who aren’t glamorous?
Clarence: You know what? None of us are pretty boys. We’re just regular guys.
Stephen: There you go, Clarence. (shakes his hand)
Oprah: I guess the question is when you’re dating, would you, for instance David, find a nice girl at the checkout at Safeway?
David: You know what? Yes, I would. I have the same insecurities about approaching women as women do about approaching me. I’ll see a pretty girl, or someone over there, and I’ll say ‘do you think I’ll have a chance with her?’
John: No.
(Audience laughs)
Audience Question: Do you ever get turned down?
All the guys nod.
David: Ya, there’s always one person in the crowd, when four girls are going ‘oh yes, oh yes’…’stuck up, he’s a TV star. Obviously, he’s a jerk’, and that’s probably the one you’re attracted to. But sure, I get turned down a lot.
Audience Question: I wanted to know if in high school you were popular or nerds.
Stephen: Good one. I was on the outs. I was not popular in high school. My first year in high school I was kind of popular, and then I quit football and the girls… the girls liked me, but the guys who were the jocks hated me. They kind of dumped me. And I was really on the outs. Most of my high school years, I was pretty much an introvert. And my senior year, I was a hippie, and in Ohio in 1969, there weren’t very many hippies in my high school. There were two.
(Laughs)
Oprah: Any of you voted most likely to succeed, or least likely to succeed? No? John, what were you?
John: I was in a band. I played in a band the whole time. I was the guy who played drums that nobody dug. And I’d like to go back to a reunion sometime.
Stephen: That would be fun.
Greg: I had the most embarrassing one…definitely…the most embarrassing thing that I did in high school. I was in band and I was the drum major. Let me tell ya, that ain’t easy to live down.
(Laughs and cheers)
Oprah: A what were you?
A: I was like struggling to get over. I remember having this date with this girl, and I really had a jones for this girl. But she liked this other guy, Howard Zeidberg, and I was in the bathroom and heard him talking to this guy saying anyone who doesn’t use this particular kind of hair tonic is not cool. And I thought that’s it, that’s it right there! I am missing out on this hair tonic. I once gave her valentine candy and I was waiting by a tree to get her, and she comes out and she’s walking with him, and I had to make a decision. Was I going to give her the candy even though he’s there, or am I going to eat this candy myself. I gave her the candy, but it was hard, I’ll tell ya.
Audience Question: I wanted to ask Stephen about his music career. I really enjoy the music that you’ve added to Days of our Lives, and Cruz sang the other day and it was great.
Stephen: Did you sing A?
A: I sang
Stephen: Maybe we could do a thing together.
A: That would be good.
Stephen: I’ve been doing a little blues and my brother is a blues musician in the William Clark Blues band. And ya, we played on the Sajak show…and we’re recording a couple of songs right now…traditional blues.
Oprah: David, you’re going to be living out one of my fantasies. I hear you’re going to be playing with Tina Turner soon?
David: Ya, I’m on this list with Tina Turner, Roxette, Joe Cocker, Janet Jackson, and me. I can see Tina going ‘Isn’t that the guy who talks to the car. How did he get on this list?’ That’s over in Europe. I got a record over in Europe.
Oprah: You’re really big in Europe, so is John.
John: I am?
Oprah: I heard Tina’s new album the other day and I danced around my living room pretending I’m Tina. Aren’t you a little scared, or is it just gonna be a happening thing?
David: No, she lives over there in Western Germany now, and she’s #3 on the charts and I’m #4. sS it makes me feel really proud.
Oprah asks John’s mom (in the audience): What’s it like to finally recognize that the child whose diapers you changed, and when you’re changing diapers, it all smells the same…it knows no distinction…has become one of these sex symbols?
John’s mom: Are you sure he’s a sex symbol?
Oprah: Oh, he definitely is.
John’s mom: I’m very proud of him, he’s a neat kid.
Oprah: Did you know or see that it was gonna end up sorta like this?
John’s mom: I only knew from probably two days after his birthday that he was going to be in entertainment. That’s all he ever wanted to do was entertain.
John: What else is she going to say, she’s my mom and I love her.
Oprah: Greg’s parents are here. Did you always know your son was going to be somebody special?
Greg’s mom: I knew my son was going to be special when he sang in a production.
Greg: Oh, mom.
Greg’s Mom: ‘It Only Takes a Moment’. He has a marvelous voice.
Oprah: How old was he?
Greg’s mom: He was about 14.
Oprah: Hum a few bars, will ya Greg?
Greg: My father’s better though, he sings better than me.
Oprah offers Greg’s dad the microphone.
Greg’s dad: Gotta pass the buck, baby.
Oprah: We’ll be back in just a moment.
(Break)
Oprah: How do you think most men blow it in relationships with women?
Greg: They get too possessive?? I don’t know…guess there’s a lot of different ways to blow it. If you don’t have a chemistry between you, in the long run, if you don’t find the friend in that person, that’s where you lose it. In ours, you know, we’re friends. There she is right there. (points to wife). We’ve been friends ten years.
Oprah in the audience with Greg’s wife: That lobster was a great idea.
Greg’s wife: Ya, it was. He’s really special. We’ve been married for ten years and he just asked me to marry him again and we did. This summer we got married again.
Oprah: That’s nice. That’s really romantic because you know what you’re getting.
Greg’s wife: Right. I said the first time I walked down the aisle I was nervous, wasn’t sure. I said what was great this time was that I walked out and I said, ‘Ya, ya that’s it’.
Oprah: It’s not easy to keep it together because I keep hearing ‘it’s work, it’s work, it’s work’. Is it work, or is it uh..?
Greg’s wife: I think any relationship is work.
Greg: It takes work.
Greg’s wife: Just who’s gonna do the dishes is the work. But no, it’s you gotta work at it. But when you love each other and you are friends, it’s like you said. You get through the hard times.
Oprah: David, you hinted earlier about what blows it, especially when two people have the same career.
David: Ya, you’ve gotta spend time together, and I think especially when you start thinking with this, (points below the waist) instead of this, (points to his head), which has no conscience, that blows it.
Oprah: Do you think men and women are getting along better now? We’re getting ready to go into another decade, into the 90’s. Are we getting better at it, or are we stalemating some place?
Greg: I don’t think so. No, I don’t think we’re getting better at it. I mean, if the divorce rate is 50, 60 %, it can’t be getting better. It’s nothing new. It’s just the way it is.
Clarence: You know what it is? It’s realizing that I have to work on myself, and Kathy has to work on herself… not I have to work on Kathy or Kathy has to work on me.
Oprah: Ya, but it’s easy for you to say. You just got married Saturday.
Clarence: And they said it would never last!
(Laughs)
(Break)
Oprah: Before we went to break, I asked whether or not we were getting better at it. I guess a better question A, would be what could make us get better at it?
Greg: I didn’t get to finish that. I think it’s the first time. I mean, the last 20 years I’m talking about, where women and men are both working, they’re both carrying the whole thing. Before it used to be the woman was home taking care of the family and the kids and the husband came home and he did his job already and he’s supposed to be relaxed when he got home. But now, no one really knows how to deal with that. No one really knows how to respond, so they end up arguing and they don’t talk with each other…they don’t figure out how to discuss it, and eventually they build up the walls and boom, they’re gone.
A: It’s hard to stay awake. We have so many distractions, so many reasons to get hung up on what’s bothering us instead of being able to keep track of what a miracle it is if we have someone in our life that we love, even if we’re blessed enough to be in the race.vI’ve got a friend who was four cars away from being squished on that freeway up in Oakland a month ago. You know, you’ve got to stop and think if you’re alive and you’ve got anything going, if you have any options, your health, your mind is intact…it’s a miracle. To be alive is a miracle and to be able to share it with somebody else is a bigger one. Staying awake through it is the problem. There’s always stuff that makes you want to go to sleep and I think some of us at any time in our career have been able to do scenes and projects that help people stay awake, and when I get to do something like that, that’s when I’m proud of my work, and I know all these guys have done the same kind of thing, and we are lucky to be part of that process whenever we get a chance.
Oprah: That’s really beautifully said.
Oprah: John said this earlier, this whole thing about just being lucky. Do you think it’s more than luck though, Stephen?
Stephen: I think it’s quite a bit of luck. I agree with what John said about, you know there are a lot of guys out there, it could be any number of us. But when you do get the break, you have to have something to make it pay off…you have to have some talent to carry it through. So I think it’s a combination of both luck and talent in the business. But also I really believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason, and I believe that in my entire life, each thing that’s happened has been a step to the next place and I’m not talking necessarily about success, just talking about growing and life in general.
Oprah: That’s what I believe too.
(Break)
Oprah: Thanks, guys. Thank you for taking the time from your shooting schedules to be with us.
(Transcript and pictures courtesy of nicholsevansfan)
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